


Behind the Joker's Grin

by Yaomi



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Action/Adventure, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaomi/pseuds/Yaomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when you find out that you are the enemy in your fairytale?  How was Sora to know that a single choice he had made years ago would come to affect entire worlds?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You know which characters are not mine.

 

**Behind the Joker’s Grin**

Part One: A Series of Faces

Chapter 1

 

_Kairi felt a chill travel up her spine and shook a little with it.  She was sitting on the dock, the waters of Destiny Islands drifting out as far as she could see.  It was ironic, she thought, that she had been throughout the universe, meeting new people and traversing over different worlds, but had never managed to visit any on other island on her own world beyond the one she lived on.  Back then, when life was still simple and the stars were just stars, orbs of light to decorate the canvas of a night sky, she had dreamed with two of her friends to run away to one of the other islands.  See what else there was beyond what they knew.  But hindsight was twenty-twenty, and how were they to know, young as they were, to be careful what they wished for?  Her legs swung in a lazy rhythm with her thoughts.  She could feel the night breeze twine through her hair, pushing it away from her shoulders and then drawing it forward in an intimate dance.  If she concentrated hard enough, she could feel the pulse of the seal in the cave that kept their world safe._

_She sighed and used the palms of her hands to hold her weight as she tilted her head back to stare up at the stars.  So many worlds in the universe, and on one of them was Sora.  Sora who always had a grin for her and a hope that spanned over worlds and through the inky blackness that dwelled within each of them.  He was a lantern in the dark, a flame that would never go out.  Even in her darkest hours, when her heart had been taken from her and there was nothing left in her to respond, she had felt his steady warmth embracing her.  As fragile as hope could be, he had always been the strongest of them all, a presence that spanned beyond wherever the universe ended.  She herself knew how fragile hope could be.  She dreamed that one day they would all be together again, but for the past three years that hope had dwindled to a distant spark that she fed each night at this time so that it would not go out._

_Arms looped around her shoulders as someone crouched behind her and pulled her into a warm chest.  “Hey,” Tidus breathed in her ear.  She smiled softly in the dark, allowing him to take her weight as she raised a hand to lightly brush over his arm.  A lot could change in three years.  She had come home not knowing what she wanted beyond having her friends safe and back home.  Tidus had been there and was so Destiny Islands that she could pretend when he was with her that all was okay and she was a normal girl again.  For a brief time she could pretend to forget all she had learned and seen.  He signified the life that she had once had and wanted again.  At least that was why she started dating him.  Now she wasn’t sure except that he became what she wanted.  And if that was just pretend too, well then she’d cross that bridge when it came._

_“Hey,” she said, her voice soft as the breeze._

_Tidus’ arms drew back as he let go of her, his hands sliding up her arms as he prepared to stand up.  “Ready to go?”  She turned around and reached out.  He grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him and up so that she was standing on her own two feet again.  He let go of her completely in what had become their nightly ritual and she turned back to the stars for one last look, offering one last prayer for the night with all that remained of her hope that Sora was somewhere safe and still the pure-hearted boy she remembered from her past.  Tidus’ arm wrapped around her waist as she turned to look at him and then they were walking off the pier and towards the shadows of the neighborhood rising beyond the beach as she leaned on him._

_In the warm summer breeze she felt another chill run through her and looked over her shoulder to the raised land that was connected to the mainland by a wooded bridge that had once been her, Sora, and Riku’s own personal island.  There.  She could see the breeze twisting strands of white from the branch where the three of them used to sit and wonder what was just beyond the ocean.  She could make out his figure looking towards the waves.  He had always had the ability to mimic a statue in his stillness.  It was such a contrast to Sora’s inability to sit still for even a minute that Kairi had thought them weird when Sora had first introduced her to Riku.  He had stood there before her as Sora bounced around them both, with his arms crossed studying her with a darkness in his eyes even back then.  Tidus looked over when she hesitated and she could feel him tense and pull her closer, urging them past the beach and onto the street.  She allowed herself to be led away.  They were headed towards Tidus’ home where his mother insisted she come over for dinner once a week.  On Thursdays they would be at her father’s home where he would wheedle and interrogate Tidus to take care of his baby girl._

_She wondered when it had become only her father’s home and not hers.  Could they ever go back to what they had been once upon a time or had knowledge come and ripped that chance apart?  Sometimes she thinks that it might have been easier, that she could have once lived a simple and happy life if she had remained ignorant.  But then again she would remind herself that as a princess of heart even now she had to be careful.  There was always something out there searching, wanting, waiting for the perfect chance to resurrect old causes and battles and darkness.  But she wanted Sora and Riku back home, because although Riku was here on the island, his heart was not.  His eyes scared her.  She had a home with her father and a boyfriend who cared about her and kept her days bright and a part time job so that she could learn to be self-sufficient in a normal setting without having to fear for her life or be dragged from world to world.  In a normal setting people didn’t normally pool their resources together so that everyone could focus on specific tasks for their specific skill sets like she was used to doing.  Here she had to learn how to do everything herself and try to be normal again although it was always there in the back of her mind that if everything was okay, that if the worlds were not in trouble, then Sora would already have come back.  But he hadn’t.  And Riku kept falling further and further away, and she wasn’t sure what to do anymore.  Though she appeared to be taking the necessary steps to move her life forward, she felt like she was trapped in stasis, unable to move forward and impossible to go back._

_Kairi knew when Riku showed up on Destiny Islands alone that something had gone wrong.  She had come home to tears and cheers and hysterical questions as everyone surrounded her and demanded to known where she had been and where the other two were.  Then a few days later Riku had come back.  Without Sora.  His mother and Kairi were the only ones who tried to talk to him at first, the ice in his eyes keeping everyone else far at bay.  But his was a coldness that burned and Kairi had let him have his space after a few weeks.  They hadn’t talked since.  The last thing he had said to her was that Sora was alive and doing well for himself.  But his own movements were harsh thrusts of his hands as he pushed his hair away from his face and his words were corrupted by the bitterness in his voice.  Kairi had been upset and heartbroken, but she had not been as lost as Riku as he sat at the kitchen table of his house day after day, not eating or moving or anything._

_And then Riku’s mother had come to talk with her.  It felt like everyone had come to talk to her in those first few weeks.  Her father managed to block most of them, but some people she had to speak to.  Such as Riku’s mother who cried on her shoulder while she had to be the strong one.  Her frantic whispers that she didn’t know what to do anymore still reverberated through her ears at times.  Kairi had no advice to offer her, nor words of comfort or wisdom.  Riku’s mother had not come again.  Kairi wasn’t sure what hurt worse: to witness the effect that Riku’s darkness had on his own mother or to watch Sora’s mother barrel forward as though nothing was wrong.  She had come to see Kairi too.  After Kairi had given her the reassurance that it was Sora so of course he was okay and surely he would be back soon, Sora’s mom had grinned happily, so reminiscent of her son that Kairi had physically hurt seeing it.  From then on through the past few years Sora’s mom bustled through life, keeping Sora’s room clean and stocking the house with enough food to feed a small world and leaving the porch light on so that Sora could find his way in the dark should he arrive some time in the night.  Riku and Sora’s mothers never talked anymore to each other, although once upon a time they had been best friends.  Sora’s mom didn’t want to have to face the possibility of the truth just as Riku’s mother didn’t want to witness the destruction of faith and hope for a second time._

_They were at Tidus’ house now and he was opening the door to lead her inside.  The smell of a home-cooked meal hit her and she smiled in greeting as Tidus’ mother came to wrap her in a hug.  She knew what his mother was hoping for, but Kairi would not be able to move another step in the path that was her life until she saw with her own eyes that Sora and Riku were okay and that they too were moving forward.  She was sure that Tidus knew because he never pushed the issue, offering in his own sweet way the comfort that she needed until she was ready to move on.  They were waiting.  The entire island was waiting and there was nothing anyone could do until Sora came home.  So for now she sat down at the table beside Tidus and complimented the meal with a smile on her face that did not give away the unease in her heart.  It was the same look on the faces of those who sat across from her and those in the houses down the street and everywhere else on this island.  Kairi secretly thought that maybe Riku just might be the most honest of them all with his dark eyes and cynical sneer that hid nothing.  For the rest of them, maybe if they pretended long enough that nothing was wrong then maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay._

***

The sunlight was streaming through the clouds as they gathered into what would become a storm, moving and dancing in the rhythm of the world as Cloud stepped out of the store he had been haggling in for over an hour now.  He looked up at the sky as the strands of light moved away from him and the dappled pattern over the streets thinned out.  Maybe another hour before it rained?  The merchants in Traverse Town were nice, but getting anywhere with them felt like he was slamming his head into a brick wall over and over again, expecting it to move out of the way with a neatly wrapped apology.  He looked down the main street he was on, and then turned to look the other way.  Nothing.  His companion was nowhere to be seen, so Cloud headed towards the restaurant at the corner.

As he drew near, the waitress looked up at him from the table she was sitting at, one leg curled under her and the other swinging in a lazy arch in a movement attesting to her boredom.  Immediately she scrambled up with a smile on her face, fingers reaching for the menus she had thrown on the table in front of her, bypassing the nametag her boss had somehow gotten into his head that all of his people would start wearing that announced proudly to the world that yes, indeed, her name was Elaine.  Cloud shook his head and held up a hand.  She pouted as she plopped back down, chin fitting neatly in her hand as her leg took up its activities again.  “You never get anything,” she grumbled.

He sat at the next table over from her.  “Water?” he asked.

“Big spender, aren’t you?” she grumbled at him and then rose to pour a glass.  She set it down in front of him and then took the chair next to his.  Her arms were crossed on the table in front of her in a make-shift pillow for her head.

Cloud’s fingers came out to move the glass so that he had an uninhibited view of the street just past the roof.  It was an open café.  No glass or doors except back to the kitchen.  The roof came over the tables, offering a shade that was valuable in the summer days and a shelter on the rainy ones.  If this storm became too bad then the owner would come out to release the tarps that folded up into the edge of the roof to protect the tables and people underneath it.  “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” he asked her.

“When there isn’t anyone here, I only get paid enough to sit here and look pretty.”  She lifted her head for a brief moment to scan the room and waved her hand in front of her.  “Does it look like there is anyone else here?  The boss said another person is going to have to be let go,” she told him glumly as her feet kicked back into a different rhythm.

Cloud’s face was impassive, but he looked over at her.  “Why isn’t there anyone here?”

“We had to raise our prices again, not that you would know,” she mumbled.  “If someone comes, let me know, would you?”  She dropped her head back on her arms and buried her face out of sight.  Cloud made a murmur of assent and turned back to the street to keep a lookout.  Their silence was a comfortable one, which had only been achieved a few months prior after she realized that he was never going to buy anything and he realized that she was never going to leave him in peace.  The other one was nice, she thought as she closed her eyes, feeling the weight of a quiet day and a breeze that played upon her skin and in her hair come upon reminiscent of exhaustion.  The other one always bought something.

Cloud slipped his hand into the pocket of his jacket and found the hand held communicator.  He pulled it out and turned it over in his hands, contemplating for a moment contacting Leon to update him on their status.  He looked back out at the sky above the building and thought better of it, dropping it back in his pocket for a later time when he could update Leon fully about the situation.  He took a sip of his water, the breeze ruffling through what Aerith called the spikes on his head as it blew through the café, bringing with it the refreshing scent of rain.

He saw a figure move out from one of the alleyways with the same signature spikes that looked so much like his own the waitress had thought they were brothers when they had first arrived on world.  Sora had thought it was amusing and had gotten to her first, and it was now and forever set in her mind that they were cousins or half brothers or whatever it was that Sora had told her.  Sora was struggling with a big cardboard box and Cloud felt himself frown a little, curiosity getting the better of him, which always proved to be a dangerous thing where Sora was concerned.  He watched as Sora nearly dropped the box and set it hastily on the ground.  He leaned over it and poked his fingers at the top which Cloud noticed had been cut away.  Sora gave a grin as he lifted his hand away and the side of Cloud’s brow twitched when he noticed a little paw come out of the top to follow the fingers waving at it.

Cloud pushed back his chair and stood as Sora picked the box up, ensuring a steady grip as he made his way over to them.  “No,” Cloud said sternly, crossing his arms before him.  Sora pouted at him.  The waitress looked up and grinned at the newcomer, waving as she sat up in her chair.

“Why not?” he asked Cloud.  “They’re so little.  And look,” he nodded towards the box and then shared a conspiratorially grin with Elaine.  “That one looks like you.”

Cloud looked down into the box as Sora set it on the table.  “That looks nothing like me,” he said.  The waitress snorted in laughter as she leaned over to get a better look at the kittens climbing over each other in excitement.

“Sure it does,” Sora said, reaching down into the box for the kitten he had indicated.  Where the other ones immediately launched for his hand as though it was a mouse and thus should be cuddled, this kitten was crouched in the corner of the box, making no move or response as it watched Sora.  “He’s all anti-social and stuff.”  Sora picked up the kitten and held it in both hands as he lifted it above his head to nuzzle it.  It meowed at him and tried to bat at his nose.  He laughed and dropped it back in with its overly energetic siblings.  “They’re so little.  Yes you are, little Tsurugi.”

Cloud twitched again.  “Don’t name it after my sword.  We’re leaving at noon,” Cloud reminded him.  “Tifa’s waiting for us.”

Sora sighed and rolled his eyes.  “I know.”  He turned to Elaine who grinned at him.

“I’ll make sure they stay warm,” she told him, and he smiled in relief at her.  “And fed.”  The grin he gave her was almost blinding.  While she thought he was the most adorable thing, the owner of the café dreaded the times that Sora would run through for a visit.  Ever since he started coming regularly, the owner had found all sorts of things in his store, from cats and dogs to birds and one time a snake that Sora had insisted had been about to be stepped on.  But the waitresses and waiters would go on strike before they let their boss take any action, say any word, against Sora.  The first time he had come here, Elaine had been new and had made a mess of things, crying around broken dishes as a customer, some off-worlder, had yelled at her while others looked on.  Sora had interjected himself neatly into the situation, helping her up and rallying the rest of the customers with a glare to her defense, and even helped out at the café until the next shift had come in.  She pulled the box closer to her and peered into it, smiling and poking a kitten in the side so that it fell over with a meow.

“Thanks, Elaine,” Sora said warmly.  She stuck her tongue out at Cloud as he looked over at her.  Had they been on Radiant Garden, Cloud would probably have conceded to Sora’s initial pout and would have been roped into carrying the box home.  Yuffie would have a field day terrifying them out of their wits end and Aerith would come be mother to them all until they adored her completely and refused to leave the house.  Even Leon was getting used to having flying fluffy balls of warmth bolting around the rooms and shop, rocketing into his ankles from the stairwell and stalking him through the halls.  He didn’t even get irritated anymore.  Sora bid goodbye to Elaine as Cloud turned back towards the street.  He fell into step next to Cloud as they headed back to the house where Tifa was waiting impatiently for them.

Cloud could see Sora’s fingers twitch as soon as they turned the corner out of sight of the café, making a motion to reach upward for a brief second before his hand dropped back to his side.  He tilted his head a little to study Sora as they continued walking.  “How is your head?” he finally asked.  Sora winced.

“It still hurts,” he responded.

Cloud hummed in thought.  “Aerith will take a look at you when we get back.  Are you dehydrated?”

Sora’s spiked waved as he shook his head.  “I just need to sleep.”

Cloud heard the beep of the communicator and pulled it out of his pocket to look at the screen.  Tifa.  He slipped it back in and Sora grinned over at him.  Tifa was famous for being the only one to take Cloud to task if she was annoyed with him, although Sora was pretty sure that Aerith would be the scariest one of them all if she was overly upset.  All she had to do was give that look and the person would be a blubbering mess before her, seeking her arms for comfort for all the wrongs, perceived and real, that they had done in their entire lives.  Sora knew this.  He had seen it happen before with a man who had been angry over the price which he could well afford of fixing a leak in his basement.  Cloud never messed with Aerith, but he was infamous for inciting Tifa’s wrath by ignoring her.  “You can take a nap when we get back to the house.  We have another hour before we need to be on the ship.”

Sora looked back up the street, away from Cloud’s eyes.  “I probably won’t be able to until we’re off this world,” he mumbled.

Cloud stopped and grabbed Sora by the arm to pull him to a stop also.  “Why do you say that?”  Sora had been acting off since they had landed, and it had been bothering Cloud at the back of his mind for the past week.

Sora did a half shrug as he turned to face Cloud.  If he hadn’t, had chosen instead to avoid Cloud’s hand and keep moving forward, then he wouldn’t have seen the figure dart back into the shadows of the alley off to their left, a form recognizable from the corner of his eye with its bright eyes peering and then disappearing around the corner.  “Cloud,” he said, voice rising as he bid his keyblade to come to his hand.  Cloud’s sword was in his hands in an instant as he whirled around to face the threat in the direction Sora was facing.  He paused as his eyes darted around the area.  There was- “Sora, there’s nothing here.”

Sora frowned and refused to lower his arm, keyblade firmly between himself and the shadows of the alleyway.  “I thought I saw…” he trailed off, leaving it unsaid what they both knew he might have imagined.

“Thought you saw what?” Cloud asked, eyes going to scan the area again.

“Nothing,” Sora murmured.  He dropped his arm and the keyblade faded into sparks of light that died out, leaving nothing but a keychain in his hand.  Oh, but his head was aching and Cloud was looking at him like he might actually be getting worried now.  Sora ducked his head and continued on, turning his back to the alley.  But as Cloud fell into step with him, he couldn’t resist the temptation to look at where they had just been standing and swore he could feel eyes following them all the way down the street.

\---

“We’re going to stay on another day,” Tifa said into the communicator.  She was sitting at the only table in the house she, Cloud, and Sora had rented for the days it would take for the supplies to be bundled for travel.  Every month they made a trip to Traverse Town to purchase anything that Radiant Garden needed.  The world had initially been self-sufficient after many of the flower gardens had been converted into vegetable gardens and animal pens.  But then the world had become a haven for refugees and wayward weary travelers who needed the chance to rest for a time before heading back out into the stars.  In order to keep a comfortable balance of provisions, Radiant Garden sent out a team to stock up on supplies.

Tifa was a usual on the journey.  At first it had been her and Cid.  Cid had lived on Traverse Town before joining their rag-tag team of do-gooders, and the merchants knew him well enough to be able to look past his rough exterior.  They trusted him as one of their own.  When Cloud was not off chasing another unknown enemy or brooding in an undisclosed location, he would join them.  Even with Cid, they had problems at the beginning getting the merchants of Traverse Town to comply with their requests due to their limited budget and lack of reliant funds.  But then Sora had joined them.  As always when she thought of Sora, her mind would travel back to the image forever imprinted in her mind of the first time she had seen Sora again after two years of silence.  Cloud had been gone for a long time as he usually was, but then he showed up on their doorstep, Sora bundled in his arms, pale white and all but dead.  Cloud refused to say where he had found Sora, and only him and Leon knew the place where Sora was found.  How much they knew of the why Sora was found where he was Tifa wasn’t sure about.  Sora never talked about it.  But there were deep scars on the palms of his hands now in the place where Aerith had spent weeks healing wounds that had sliced through to the bone.  Sora hadn’t been responsive to anyone for months until Cloud had forced him onto the ship and taken him to Traverse Town with them.

After that Tifa was in an on-going study of the man she remembered as a boy.  He had left Traverse Town from that first trip completely himself again: cheerful and childlike, eager to help, and bright as the stars.  But there were times, mere seconds that Tifa would have missed had she not been watching him closely, times that Tifa would have thought were only the imaginings of her mind had she not known that Cloud, Aerith, and Leon had already noticed them too, where his lips would tilt just out of their smile and his eyes would go distant and withdrawn before he would shake it off and immerse himself in whatever needed to be done with an energy that would tire out a puppy.  The merchants here liked Cid, but they absolutely adored Sora, loving him like he was the little brother to them all.  Leon quickly became very fond of sending Sora out with them.  Cloud tended to make the locals nervous with his long silences and direct stares, but when Sora walked by they would, as Leon pointed out, throw discounts at the group just so that Sora would come visit them, which for the most part Tifa found was true.  She at least could attest to it, though Sora would get embarrassed and try to deny it.

Usually everything ran without a hitch.  The people on Traverse town were almost overly helpful and friendly.  The other travelers were always more than happy to help with the loading, which really happened in any world as though it was some unsaid rule among them to help their comrades in space at any chance they got.  And after Sora joined their cause, the locals would go every direction out of their way to find whatever the team needed at the cheapest price.  Usually the team was in and out in less than a week.  However, this time there was a problem.  And Leon’s frown indicated that he didn’t like the idea of the team staying on even another day.  “You were scheduled to leave yesterday.  What’s going on?” he asked her, a slight tick in his expression in regards to Yuffie’s antics in the background and Cid’s yelling.  He crossed his arms and leaned back.

“It’s probably nothing,” Tifa said, giving a graceful shrug of her shoulders.  “But Sora mentioned that he saw a shadow, maybe a leftover from when the heartless took over the town.  They are investigating it now.”

Leon’s frown deepened even further.  “Keep me informed,” he said.

“Will do,” Tifa replied.  The connection was abruptly cut and Tifa slumped back in her chair with a sigh, running a hand through her hair.  A day, as it had easily been proven, could turn into two days.  But after that, she told herself firmly, she would personally ensure that both Cloud and Sora and the supplies would be on the ship.  While Radiant Garden had enough supplies to last for a few more weeks, there was no telling what could happen in that time or how many more people would come to visit their world.

She looked around their little house.  She was sitting in the front room that consisted of a table and chairs and a couch in the corner.  She could see the kitchen over a wide counter and doorway.  There were two rooms off to the side.  The far one led into a bathroom while the one closest to her led into the house's only bedroom.  At night Tifa would take the bed while Cloud slept on a mat on the floor.  Sora would take the couch in the front room.  While not having had to do it for along time, Tifa did not mind the sparse living conditions and sharing rooms.  Anyone else would have already been complaining, but she remembered years ago sleeping on the floor of a room beneath her bar with five other people.  But when she didn't have to live like this, she would rather not.  And the boys would have to come with her if she left with the ship because they had a job to perform and a time limit to complete it in.  The first time they had all made the trip together, Cloud had run off to brood (thankfully remaining on world) and Sora was busy helping the locals with whatever minor problems they were having (finding a child’s kitten which had been hiding under the couch was not a cause for delaying a shipment apparently).  Well long story short, Tifa had proven that she didn’t mind leaving their asses to rot for awhile.  They had ended up traveling with a man and his wife on a journey that lasted nearly four months before they found themselves on Radiant Garden again.  Leon had been furious.  Sora had had the time of his life.  That was the first time he had brought home a kitten.

She pushed herself up from the table with a sigh and went into the kitchen.  A brief look around told her what she already knew; there was nothing in the fridge or the pantry.  They had only brought enough to last them through last night since they were supposed to be en route by now back to Radiant Garden.  She went back to the bedroom, grabbed the munny from Cloud’s bag which was propped in the corner, and then left to go to the market.  The sky was dark now, but the clouds withheld their rain for the moment.

She never made it to the market.  The day was dreary, clouds releasing a light mist that put a pall over the town.  She noticed that the owner of the café Sora liked to drag her to was releasing the tarps while the waitress Elaine sat in a chair.  She was talking to a little boy while she folded silverware into napkins.  The boy was leaning over a box on the ground next to the table, playing with the kittens inside who were jumping around gleefully.  She passed the owner and ducked under the half undone tarp.  Elaine looked up and gave her a grin.  “How are things, Elaine?” she asked her.

Elaine shrugged, slipping the edge of the napkin into the top, finishing off the set she was working on.  “It’s been slow.”  She nodded towards the box and Tifa gave a wry grin, hazarding a guess that was more than likely correct at where the box had come from.  “Let Sora know we found an owner for all the kittens,” she said, smirking over at her boss who turned to glare at her as he slipped the last tarp down.

“We did not,” her boss said harshly.  “And tell that boy of yours that we are not a shelter for strays.”

“Wouldn’t help,” Elaine quipped, tapping the box with her foot.  “I saw your boys running around here.  I thought you were leaving yesterday?”  She grinned at Tifa’s harassed expression.  “Boys,” she clucked and left it at that.  She brushed her work away with an arm and turned to leaned towards the boy.  “Denzel, this is one of the people I told you about.”  The little boy sitting cross-legged next to Elaine looked over at her and then turned back to the box.

“He’s shy,” Elaine explained, sitting back up to meet Tifa’s eyes.  “But I need you to take him with you when you leave.”

Tifa stared, caught completely by surprise.  “You need me to do what?”

“His daddy ain’t a nice man, if you catch my drift.”  Elaine set down the set she was working on and turned her full attention to Tifa.  “He needs off this world.”

Tifa looked over at the boy, weary of talking about him in front of him like this.  “In other words, you want me to kidnap a little boy.”

Elaine snorted.  “His daddy won’t even notice.”

Tifa frowned and paused.  She moved towards him and crouched down next to him.  “Denzel, is that your name?” she asked him softly.  He looked at her from the corner of his eye and nodded, resolutely staring into the box.  His fingers flicked at one of the kittens and it gave him a look before turning back to the preservation of its claws.

“Good choice,” Elaine said, looking over into the box.  “That’s the only one with a name so far.”

“What’s its name?” Tifa asked, sidling up next to Denzel.  She could feel him tense as she got closer, but he didn’t move away, stubbornly acting as if she wasn’t there.

Elaine’s lips twitched.  “Tsurugi.”

Tifa’s hair flipped over her shoulder as she turned to look up at Elaine.  When their eyes met she could feel her lips twitch as the pieces came together.  She gave into a laugh as she rose back up, still bending over to be near Denzel’s eye level.  She thought about it for a moment, but then she was moving her head in acquiescence to Elaine’s silent query.

“I have a place, a world,” she started softly, looking at the boy who turned to meet her eyes.  “It’s a place where people come from all over.  We help out.  That’s what we’re doing now.  Getting food for the world.  Would you like to come with me?” she asked him.  He stared at her in silence and she smiled encouragingly.  “It’s not much of a place, but it’s home.  It was very beautiful before the war, but it’s peaceful now and we are building it back to what it once was.  You should come with us.  You’ll have your own bedroom, food, and supplies.  I will be there, and whenever I go off world, you can come with me.”   When he didn’t say anything further, she sighed and got up.

“Can I bring Tsurugi,” Denzel asked in a rush, as though he was missing his chance.

Tifa gave him a full smile this time.  “Tsurugi can come with us.”

Denzel dragged his feet, but he got up and held the little cat to his chest.  He turned to Tifa expectantly.  Elaine scrambled up and knelt before Denzel.  “These are really good people,” she said.  “You’ll love Sora, and Cloud is a softy underneath that rough exterior.  You’ll like them.”  She reached out her arms and Denzel hesitantly allowed her to pull him into a hug and kiss his cheek.  “I’ll miss our afternoons.”  She let go of him and straightened up.  With both hands on her hips, she gave him a level stare.  “You make sure to visit me if you’re ever in town.”  He looked like he was about to say something, but he just nodded and let Tifa lead him out into the open air.

They made it back to the rental house in good time considering Denzel’s pace.  But he was quiet and cooperative as he sat on the floor of the main room next to the table, batting his fingers at the cat as Tifa took a moment to post a call to Yuffie.  She specifically asked for Yuffie, because while Leon would accept the boy without a problem, his terse responses and quiet authority might give Denzel the wrong idea and Tifa didn’t want the boy to think she was hiding anything by going into the bedroom or outside to make the call.

“Hey, Tif,” Yuffie said, coming into view as she plopped down into the chair in front of the screen.  The miniature communicator made her look tiny to Tifa’s eyes.  “Anything new?” she asked.

“There’s a boy, Denzel, who will be coming with us.  Can you make sure the other bedroom is prepared for him?  Move my things into your room if you have to,” Tifa said.

Yuffie’s eyes raised and she brought one leg up into the chair, wrapping her hands around her shin.  “Denzel?  I can do that.”  She leaned back in the chair, letting it bend backwards a little.  “When are you coming back?  Leon’s been in a snit the entire day.”

“I bet he has.”

Yuffie rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, he-”  She cut out as the screen fizzled for a moment and then came back online.  When Tifa could make her out again, Yuffie was frowning, her hand just out of sight under the screen where Tifa knew the controls were.  “What was that?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Tifa said as she studied the device in her hands.  Denzel looked over at her, but she shook her head at him and smiled to reassure him.  “It might from be my end.  I’ll call you when we head out.”

“Okay,” Yuffie said and logged off. 

When Cloud and Sora came in, Tifa was on the floor with Denzel and Tsurugi.  Sora spotted them first and he gave them a wide grin.

“Good to go?” Tifa asked as she got up, Denzel scrambling after her.

“Yep,” Sora said.

Cloud came in behind him and his eyes honed in on the boy.  They stared each other down.  “Who is this?” he asked softly.

“Do we have anything for dinner?” Sora asked quickly, glancing at the boy.

“No,” Tifa said, her eyes catching Cloud’s and boring into them.

“Tifa, we can’t-”

“Denzel, go take a shower,” Tifa ordered the boy.  He looked at all three of them before bolting for the bathroom and slamming the door shut.  Sora made a hasty retreat himself, and as he was closing the door could hear Tifa begin to rip into Cloud.  It was still raining, but he wasn’t going back in for lack of a jacket or umbrella.  He winced and slipped his hand into his pocket to check the munny he had left and walked down the sidewalk, smiling over at their neighbor as he passed her and went in search of food.

When Sora came back with bags of food for everyone, he nearly tripped over Cloud's pallet near the door.  He looked up at his companions in confusion, a question forming in his mouth before dying out at the way Tifa was pointedly not looking at Cloud who was sitting stoically at the table.  Denzel was in the kitchen with Tifa, dressed in clothes that were too big for him, which now looking at them were Sora's own spares.  Sora sidestepped the pallet, and set the bags down on the counter, offering a grin to the boy.

"I got what I could," Sora said, breaking the silence and pulling out the items from the bag.  "Dinner for tonight and breakfast for tomorrow."

"That will be enough," Tifa said, swiftly joining him and searching through for the dinner items.  She had to break open some of the bags that had been double bagged and knotted to keep the items inside dry.  "We should be on our way back by then.  Sora, there's not much here."

“Prices have been going up,” he responded.  “There wasn’t much I could get.”  He paused, shifted on his feet and moved his weight to his heels as he shared a glance with Cloud.

“I noticed that,” Cloud said.  “We didn’t get as much as we normally do.”

Tifa left the table with the food and joined Denzel in the kitchen.  “We are leaving tomorrow,” she said.  “Leon won’t take another delay.”  Denzel didn’t say anything.  He stood awkwardly in the corner of the kitchen watching the stove as Tifa took out a pan and turned the burner on the stove to heat it up.

Sora quietly moved to the chair across from Cloud.  “They’re saying the crops are dying at a fast rate,” he said after a moment, his voice a little quieter but still loud enough for all of them to hear.  He looked over at Denzel whose face was blank and who was staring hard at the stove.  “Not to be worried or anything, but-” and he stopped there, waiting for what he didn’t know.

Cloud uncrossed his arms, sitting up straighter in the chair.  “You think it’s related to what we were researching earlier,” he stated, not a question but a fact that he searched for confirmation in Sora’s expression.  Sora didn’t disappoint.

Sora shook his head helplessly.  “It’s just a feeling.”

Tifa blew the hair out of her face in exasperation.  “Neither of you found anything this afternoon.  We need to get back to Radiant Garden.”  Tifa offered the knife to Denzel who hesitantly reached out to grasp it.  She led him over to the counter where she placed cutting board and directed him how to dice the vegetables.

“We’ll go back tomorrow,” Sora agreed with her easily.  Cloud watched him for another moment, noticing the way Sora’s hand drifted towards his head again.  He sat back in his chair, his eyes intent.  Sora saw him staring and got up to take a shower.  He was soaked through from the rain.  When he came out dinner was on the table and he sat down cheerfully to dig in while the other three brooded in their own thoughts.

The rest of the night was quiet.  More quiet than it normally was with Tifa being cross at Cloud, though both she and Sora attempted to draw Denzel out of his shell.  She insisted that everyone be in bed early.  Denzel fell asleep first and Tifa shortly joined him on the bed.  He turned to her seeking her warmth and she ran her fingers through his hair, remembering the little girl she used to care for on a world that no longer was and never would be and the friends she had there.  In the main room Sora fell into a restless sleep to the eerie glow that emitted from Cloud’s eyes in the darkness.

That night he dreamed of nothing.  It wasn’t that he did not dream at all; there really was nothing there.  He couldn’t see anything around him or above him or on whatever he was standing.  He felt it though.  A pressure that surrounded him, weighing him down and drowning him.  And it terrified him more than the heartless had, or the nobodies, or the memories of the unverse, or having to tell Riku that he was so sorry.  He woke up in a panic, eyes immediately going wide from sleep, heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to breath.  His head was throbbing and he bolted up to take in the room.  He saw Cloud’s eyes peering at him from the floor and watched as they moved as Cloud propped himself up on one arm.

“What-” Cloud started, but a loud blast cut him off, shaking the entire house and what had to be the entire neighborhood around them.  Cloud was up in an instant, diving for his sword that was leaning against the wall by the table.  He went for his shoes next, leaning by the door as he put them on.  Sora froze for a second, but the keyblade didn’t wait for its master to call it, appearing in Sora’s hand when its master felt in danger.  He stumbled off the couch, reaching for the door to the bedroom, but Tifa was already pulling it open, hair flying as she whirled around to push Denzel in front of her, his terrified grip on the kitten in his arms making it give a noise in terror and dig its claws into the boys arm.  Tifa grasped his shoulder and all but threw him into the kitchen, crouching in between him and the front door as she pushed him to the floor.

“What was that?” she exclaimed, hands pulling on the gloves that made her fists all the more deadly.  “Sora, my shoes.”  Sora reached down just beyond the doorway to the bedroom, picked up her shoes and threw them over to her before reaching for his own.

“An explosion,” Cloud said, crouched now by the door, ready for battle as he waited for Sora to finish.  Sora went for the doorway, pulling on his other shoe, and joined Cloud, one knee on the floor while his other foot braced in preparation to bolt towards or away from something if he needed to.  “Get his shoes on,” Cloud ordered Tifa, his eyes never leaving the door while Sora watched the window behind him.  She pushed Denzel towards the two of them, Sora grabbing hold and pulling him to him.  Tifa crept to the bedroom, staying low to the ground, and found Denzel’s shoes by the bed.  She brought them out and joined them, kneeling before Denzel who grabbed his shoes to put them on himself.  He reached for her, but Sora’s hand on his shoulder was firm, holding him where he was at.  “Let’s go,” Cloud said, and opened the door.  Tensed and waiting, they saw nothing outside but the confused neighbors looking down the street, huddled together and forming groups among themselves in all manner of dress.

Cloud went outside first, sword at the ready.  Sora went next and Tifa held Denzel closely between her and Sora as she came last.  She looked around her.  To the right and down the street towards the center of town they could see the glow of a fire that hadn’t had the time to become a full-fledged blaze.

***

_He dreamed of fire.  Every night he dreamed of a fire that consumed his world, leaving nothing but ash that drifted through the air like the soft lace of snowflakes of  a corrupt winter over the tears and the screams and the smirk that he recognized and hated.  In the world outside his dreams he never cried.  It was a weakness he could not afford.  But here in the nightmare, the tears fell freely down his cheeks and the screams tore from his throat to rip apart his voice.  The part of his mind that was still him raged against the strands of red that danced in the flames and the keychain he was left holding in hands that were not his when the world went dark and he found himself alone.  Blood dripped between the fingers of his clenched fists where the ends of the keychain punctured into his skin.  He was caught in a cycle of redundant days and hellish nights and a nightmare that would not relent._

_The thing he hated most about it though, more than the smirk and the tears and the blood, was the owner of the dream.  The owner with the bloody hands that had once been like a balm on his skin even when the screaming mouth had been whispering words of betrayal embedded in an apology that meant nothing.  He could see the eyes as he remembered them in their endless blue, the tears reminiscent of the fountains Radiant Garden was famous for.  Like the ocean running over, creating the rivers that ran along the coast of Destiny Islands, sparkling in the sunlight.  He hated those eyes that went forever on like a midnight sky that he found himself staring into every evening.  He hated the dreams and the man who disappeared into the flames with a kiss.  Axel.  But he would always always hate the owner of those hands and those screams and those tears.  His was the silent kind of hatred, a burning fire that roiled under his skin, infecting his bones to reverberate throughout the very core of him in a rhythm that would not die, endlessly whispering the name Sora like a breath lost on the wind.  It was the kind of hatred that could not be released or relieved by screaming to the stars or beating the next person he saw into a bloody mess on the ground, although he had tried that two years ago when he had first started dreaming.  Tidus still avoided him, walking in the other direction whenever Riku came into sight, and Kairi had long ago stopped trying to talk to him._

_Always he had wondered, he couldn’t help but wonder, if the dreams were just that or if they were a memory from a mind that would forever be connected to his.  Was it something to come or had it already happened.  Was it happening even now as he sat  up in bed with tears streaming down his face to soak in the bedspread below him?  Part of him, the darker part of him, raged against Sora, and Riku could feel a childlike tendril of satisfaction and hope that the dream really was a memory and Sora even now cried against the same stars Riku stared into every night.  The other part of Riku was silent, watching and waiting and dead._

_Abruptly he threw his legs over the side of the bed and wiped away his tears with a motion saturated in disgust.  On his desk he saw the letter that had arrived that evening while his mother had been knocking at the door imploring him to come and eat with her.  The letter was open, the edges of the paper reaching towards the ceiling.  The summons did not explain much, but it was half a page of fearful urgency penned by King Mickey himself, the desperation nearly dripping from between the lines of the page that his presence was needed at court.  At sunrise he would be on his way to the castle.  His mother didn’t understand, but she never understood.  She would let him go because she had no choice in the matter.  From the moment Riku had stepped off the island on a journey that would take him beyond the universe, she had no say in what he did with his life or his days or the light in his room which hadn’t been turned on since he had come back.  He would go, despite her tears and stony silence as she withdrew further into herself as the days passed on to answer the only one who he was obligated to be loyal to.  He would do what needed to be done, be the weapon of the King to protect the worlds._

_And on the way he was sure to run into Sora.  Something in this universe, like a bad practical joke, would bring them together again.  Sora was too much a part of him, two sides of the same coin, completely different and yet the same.  Sora was still the thing that kept him going, and he would keep his sanity just long enough, waiting for that moment when they would finally be drawn together again.  And then he was going to find every crack, every weakness in Sora’s persona, and tear each one open, painfully and slow so that Sora would know what it was like to be abandoned to the darkness that dwelled deep within one’s own mind.  After that he would he would stand back and watch Sora destroy himself, shattered into so many shards of glass that could never be put back together again.  And then finally, finally, Riku would be able to let go_

_of everything._

**  
**

**End of chapter one**


	2. Chapter two

These characters are not mine, but I thank Square Enix and everyone who created such a great story as Kingdom Hearts, the characters, and the worlds. They have made my life brighter.

 

Behind the Joker's Grin

Part One: A Series of Faces

Chapter 2

 

“ _Do you dream?”_

The horizon beyond the cliffs bloomed into a brilliant bloody red over the golden lakes that surrounded the island where Master Yen Sid lived. At Riku's back the tower rose up into the sky, a beacon to those searching for answers. The steps were warm beneath him as everything was always so very warm on this world. It was a warmth Riku had never been able to get used to, a suffocating weight without the reprieve that a simple breeze could bring as it rushed over the water and across the sands, rustling the leaves of the tree he used to beat back the rays of the sun with. Somewhere, across the universe, his own little island.

He was waiting. Two months wasted at the king's castle made him want to scream. The chipmunks had been everywhere and Donald and Goofy had been always underfoot, following him around the grounds and once nearly into the bathroom. He had felt trapped, restrained. But this waiting felt even worse when his only companions were an old man whose eyes were the endless depths of time and a fairy who refused to reveal herself from Master Yen Sid's hair whenever Riku was in the same room. He remembered her vaguely as a temperamental little nuisance.

He felt it before he saw it, the exact moment when the ship entered the atmosphere. He felt her. The types of power within people varied exponentially, based on the connections they had created in their lives that determined which kind of energies accepted them. There were only a few people he knew of that had a power within them so strong that the worlds responded to them. And just like how he could feel if one of the princesses of heart were in trouble and the world cried out, he could feel the moment when Aerith felt him too, a gently tug in response to his acknowledgment.

He had never met Aerith, but he knew it was her. Hers was a power Sora had described once, unlike any other he had said. It felt like the entire world and everyone on it reached out, like an infant reaching for its mother wanting to be held. He pushed the feeling away and she respectfully drew back from him.

He could see the ship in the distance, nothing more than a pinprick in a canvas full of color. He watched as it grew in size, coming closer and closer and heard when Master Yen Sid came to stand at the top of the steps.

Riku didn't move until the ship had landed and the doors opened. Leon was the first to appear, and they eyed each other warily from across the lawn as he rose up and put his hands in his pockets.

“Traverse Town,” Master Yen Sid greeted them as Aerith joined Leon and they made their way across the yard. “It's always the first to fall.”

Attention drawn, Leon nodded towards him. “Major port town. Too many things have gone in and out before the world was locked down for us to determine how anything got in.”

“The seal was broken,” Riku murmured. He ignored the soft smile of greeting from Aerith. “ _He_ set that one.”

“I'm sorry for running late,” Aerith said, at last reaching Master Yen Sid and stopping. She held out her hand to him and he clasped it warmly between his, offering him a smile unusual for his face in a creaking manner that reminded Riku of a lost tomb being opened for the first time. “I asked Leon to stop by Traverse Town to see if there was anything new.”

“What did you sense?”

She shook her head as a frown crossed briefly over her face. “Nothing. I couldn't sense anyone or anything. I've never felt that before.” She shook her head again, fighting back a shiver. “It's like a hole where the world should be. We could see it, it's there, but I-” She paused, thinking. “Even the World That Never Was and Twilight Town, even the Nobodies had a sense to them.”

“What did Sora have to say?” Riku could feel a slight tilt to the side of lips on the name, a hardening of his eyes, a tenseness in his cheek and forced himself to relax again. “He set the seal. He would have felt it break.”

Leon gave a diminutive shake of his head as Master Yen Sid's face went carefully blank. “We sent a message to King Mickey over the situation, but we've kept the details to ourselves for now. We don't know what happened and were unwilling to risk unsecured communications.”

“The communications at Disney Castle are the securest known,” Riku said in admonishment.

Leon turned to face Riku, to meet those cold eyes and impassive face, so unlike what he remembered when all of them had stood back to back to fight an army of heartless. “We can't count on any communications being secure. But, around three months ago we sent a team for supplies to Traverse Town. In one of our last communications with them, they were concerned with a potential heartless. The next day, when they were to report before they left, we received no call from them. By that night, we started to receive reports that the world was inaccessible.”

Riku listened with his head slightly tilted to the side, expression unmoving, eyes calculating. “And he was on the team?”

“With Cloud and Tifa.”

“And that's it?” Riku asked as he looked around them and towards the ship.

Leon was about to snap out what the hell else was he expecting when Aerith stepped in. “The fewer people on the ship, the more supplies it can carry.”

“I need to take a look at the world.”

“It won't help,” Master Yen Sid said. “We have to wait.”

“Wait for what?” Aerith asked.

He shook his head and opened his arms out. “I don't know. I have seen that something will happen, but it will happen from within the world. Until then all we can do is wait and be ready for whatever comes out of the world.”

“In the mean time then, we will head back to Radiant Garden. It's closer to Traverse Town and we need to prepare for a possible influx of refugees,” Leon said. “Master Yen Sid, thank you.”

It wasn't until Riku was on the ramp to enter the ship, Aerith already inside and Leon waiting by the bottom of the steps, that Master Yen Sid stopped him.

“You never answered my question,” he said, stepping up closer to the ship.

“And what was that?” Riku nearly growled.

“Do you dream?”

Riku snarled, looking away from the old man, coming to meet the critical eyes of Leon before he whirled around and disappeared inside. Leon turned back to Master Yen Sid who only smiled at him and raised his hand in a wave goodbye.

* * *

 

Sora opened his eyes to a blur of shadows. He had long since stopped dreaming, but the weight of the darkness when he closed his eyes was almost worse than the nightmares he had once had. His body felt heavy, as though lead weights had been strapped to his limbs, pulling him down into the earth. The brief nap he had managed to get had done nothing for his exhaustion. The shadows before him froze and then the lamp was covered with a considerate hand.

“Sora?” a voice murmured, and Sora picked his head up just enough to meet the deep blue eyes of Cloud Strife. He heard a sniffle beside him and he ducked his head to look down at the little boy curled in the chair next to him, using his shoulder to keep him upright. He sighed and wrapped his arm around Denzel's shoulders to keep him from falling as he pushed himself away from the table and back into a sitting position.

“What time is it?” he mumbled, shifting Denzel to fit into his arm. Though Denzel seemed much older than he actually was, Sora was reminded in the quiet times like this that Denzel, who liked to curl himself into a ball in his sleep, was still very much only a young boy. Sora knew though, was intimately aware in fact that those who were native to a world were much more in tune with its troubles. They were the people who would be the first and most affected by a twist in its structure, seen often in the unconscious actions like those of a little boy who covered his ears in his sleep as though trying to block out a noise only he could hear.

Sora's head was aching, and though he no longer belonged to any world anymore, he somehow belonged to them all. The seals he could feel pulsing throughout the universe, coalescing into one thing he had never managed to understand. He felt fragmented, worn, and-

Cloud lifted his hand from the lamp. The light hit Sora's eyes, making him wince and bringing him back to the present. Cloud looked towards the window, almost a reflex because the window had long been boarded up with cabinet doors nailed together. “I don't know,” he mused.

Sora let it go. Traverse Town hadn't seen daylight in months now, and Sora never should have asked the question.

“ _Who are you?”_

_A smirk. “What are you calling yourself now?”_

Sora turned his head away from the figure of Cloud across the table from him. Across a world. Across the flames. _“Sora?”_ Yes, Traverse Town would fall soon. Shadows. It always started with shadows. And fire. Three months ago the starport had been set on fire, and by the time they had repaired a ship to send for help, the world had been sealed before they even had a chance. Nothing in. Nothing out. Trapped, like the entire world had become a prison. Sora couldn't say that he missed seeing the stars, but it was unsettling on the best of days to see that inky blackness blanket the sky until one could no longer tell where night ended and day began. They needed to get the people off the world and to a place where they could be safe. But time was running out.

“Did you make any progress?” Sora asked Cloud, leaning over as much as he could without upsetting Denzel to take a look at the object Cloud had been poking at since before he had falling into a restless sleep.

Cloud gave an aggravated sigh and pushed the object over for Sora's inspection and then ran a hand through his hair. “Not yet,” he said.

Sora reached over and pulled it the rest of the way across the table to take a closer look at it. It was a small item, no bigger than Sora's fist, but it was supposed to be their communication to the rest of the team, and thus the only possible communication they currently had to the rest of the universe. Without communication to the outside world, they were reliant only on the information and the inspection of the situation strictly from what they could see on the world. Their last call was around the time the last star disappeared. A call from on the world, a young woman, a vendor they knew, begging them to take her with them when they left. A stray thought went through his head that Leon must be having kittens now and Tifa would be perfectly in her right for an “I told you so.” But Sora looked up at Cloud's pensive form and he let those thoughts continue on their course out of his head.

They sat in silence while Sora studied the device. Sora almost didn't notice when Cloud rose from the table to take Denzel from him. He shifted as he felt Cloud's arms wrap around Denzel and lift him as though he weighed nothing, Cloud's larger hand gently prying Denzel's fingers from Sora's shirt, and taking him into the other room where Tifa was sleeping so that he could put the boy to bed. His mind was among the mess of wires and metal, and finally he pushed it away in disgust. He couldn't think, and after two months of staring at the broken communicator, he was giving up hope on being able to fix it.

Cloud closed the door softly behind him as he reentered the room. He glanced at Sora as he passed him. Once again settled in his chair, he took the communicator from Sora, dragging it back in front of him. His fingers prodded a section near the middle. “I think we need another part,” he said.

“Good luck,” Sora mumbled. “I don't think we're going to get it working again.” He crossed his arms over the table and laid his head back down on them.

“If we can't get off this world, we can't help anyone else either,” Cloud firmly reminded him.

Sora groaned. “How much food do we have?” he asked. The town had been rationing all food supplies. It was in times like these, when people were hungry and scared and exhausted, when the silence was so thick they were trapped within their own thoughts and survival instincts, that the cruelty of people really came out. Too many people had lost their lives to the shadows in their own hearts, murdered over a little bread and water. The rest of them had long since banded into groups, whole families staying in a single house, cramped together in silent misery, brought together by fear. Sora was so sick of it all, so sick of his headaches and the emptiness in his stomach and that in the quiet he couldn't help but be reminded of lying awake in bed at night with Axel right beside him, knowing that though Riku was only a world away, he would never see him again.

Old feelings rose up. That misery, those eyes, that pain, those scars that he pressed him thumb into, separated by the fingerless gloves that he never took off anymore. And over it all, over it all that sense of guilt that was forever in the back of his mind. He pushed it back down. Not now.

“Not much,” Cloud was saying. “Enough to last another four days.

Sora hummed in thought. “When is the next rationing?” he asked him.

Cloud was silent for a moment. Sora tilted his head so he could see the golden spikes out of the corner of his eyes. “There isn't going to be another one.”

Sora shot up. “What?” he hissed. Cloud looked pointedly over at the closed door, and Sora lowered his voice. “Since when? Why didn't you tell me?”

Cloud's head tilted to the side. “Tifa went while you were sleeping.”

“You should have woken me.”

Cloud stopped working so that he could throw Sora a stern look. “Telling you now doesn't change anything than if I told you an hour ago,” he said. Sora, mollified, dropped his head back onto his arms. He felt so heavy. “Go to sleep if you aren't going to help. Tifa takes the next shift and then you have the one after.”

Sora dragged himself out of the chair. He turned back to Cloud. “If anything happens-”

Cloud gave him a small, cynical and knowing smirk. “You'll know,” he said.

Sora turned and quietly opened the door to the bedroom. On the bed Tifa was curled up with Denzel. Sora could hear Tsurugi's purrs from wherever he was on the bed. It was pitch black inside, the only light coming in from the other room at his back where Cloud was rubbing the back of his neck as he took a break from the hopeless cause on the table. He closed the door behind him, for even Cloud moving around in the other room, silent as he was, would be enough to wake the two occupants.

He took off his shoes but kept his socks on, and climbed into the bed on the other side of Denzel. He laid down and could feel the warmth at his back. It was calming, that warmth, when the rest of the place felt too cold, a chill passing through the town that took up residence and refused to leave. The entire room felt too small, the effect of boarding up the only other window in the house. They might have four days to figure out what to do, but what about everyone else? What about the families stuffed into a single house? How much time did they have left? Sora wondered if they could save anyone anymore.

He could hear movement behind him, and then Tifa's fingers rested gently on his arm and Sora allowed himself to fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

 

Leon was sitting at the table in the kitchen as Aerith moved around the counters making lunch for the household. She always made too much, even now, because within the hour there would be a chorus of voices outside their door pleading for “Miss Aerith's cooking” and little eyes trying to peer through the peephole.

For now it was quiet. Once an unusual thing, a tense silence had fallen over the house after the appearance of their strange guest. Even Yuffie's incessant chatter had become a distant mumble, and Leon found himself missing it at the oddest moments. Like the times when she would burst into his room at insane hours of the morning because she had thought of something “totally epic” and needed to share it with someone. Or when she had come in while he was sorting through the inventory sheets of what they had to drop a very angry and very scared cat in his lap because she had chased it around the entire house before she had cornered it on top of the fridge because it had coughed up something eww in her room and he needed to take it from her or she was going to do something awful to it.

But then Riku was welcomed into their household and pissed Yuffie off. Leon remembered Riku from years ago, back when Sora had first conquered the darkness. They had fought on the same side, together believing in the dream that Sora emanated with. He remembered Riku as a quiet troubled boy. He was still by all definition a quiet troubled boy, but there was something different bout it., something that made Riku now irreconcilable with the Riku he remembered. The images didn't match in his head for all that he seemed the same.

“Lunch time,” Aerith called, raising her voice so that it carried through the halls of the house.

Leon couldn't put his finger on what exactly about Riku bothered him.

A minute later Yuffie came creeping in. “He just sits there,” she hissed, eyes darting towards the doorway. She sank down in the chair across the table from Leon, shoulders tense as she stared hard at the door. Riku had to eat sometime, and when he did Yuffie was ready for, well, something. Anything.

“We're all on edge,” Aerith said gently as she turned to pour the noodles into a serving bowl. “We're all worried.”

Yuffie grimaced. “It's not,” she paused, stumbling for words. “I don't know what it is.”

And that was it, Leon realized as the puzzle came together only to make everything more complicated. “He's not worried,” he said, voice quiet. But Yuffie glanced at him and then was nodding her head in agreement with an expression on her face that she did not appreciate the revelation. Aerith's silence spoke more than words as she placed the bowl on the table along with several plates and forks.

“What do you want to drink?” She asked them as she turned back towards the fridge.

“I'll get it,” Yuffie volunteered and vaulted back up to grab the glasses out of the cupboard.

A shadow filled the doorway and Leon could almost hear Yuffie deflate.

“Are you hungry, Riku?” Aerith asked him.

“Yeah, are you hungry, Riku?” Yuffie sneered. Riku looked at them all, looked at the table, and then turned around and walked back into the hallway and up the stairs. “What is his problem?” she screamed, closing her eyes as she threw her head back to achieve maximum volume.

“Yuffie,” Aerith admonished, surprised at the outburst.

“What?” she snapped as she plopped back down in her chair, sans glasses which Aerith took up. “He comes from the King, like he's all mighty and great and doesn't think any of us are worth a damn word. Demands to know what's happening on Traverse Town and is so interested in all of it that he'd done absolutely nothing about it and he does nothing here, cheap-ass freeloader.”

“Yuffie,” Leon said quietly. She stopped talking, but sat there glumly throughout lunch, which afterward Aerith sent her to to bring a plate to Cid, ushering her out of the house before the children could see her. They had been learning some interesting words lately, words that Aerith didn't believe anyone had to learn and ones she didn't want hearing out of any of their mouths.

* * *

 

He was suffocating. He was suffocating and there was no one to hear his choked breaths. There was nowhere to go, nothing to see, an inky darkness that wrapped possessively around him, cocooning him in its thick chill, holding him down, suffocating him. He couldn't cry out. Whenever he opened his mouth, it crawled inside, cutting off his voice, filling him.

A prison. A prison, and how does it feel?

He saw a flash. And there it was. A light, dim, just a shadow really, beyond his reach, so far away. He reached for it and felt the tears stream down his cheeks as it moved further away. Please, please, he thought. Help me.

The darkness covered his eyes, blocking the image, and he opened his mouth to scream. It took its chance. It dove in, twining down his throat, thick like blood, and he could feel it move through him. No. Nonononono-

Hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed and he woke with the scream still caught in his throat.

He was in the bedroom. He could feel the coolness of the air and the heat of Denzel who had curled himself into Sora's back with an arm thrown around him. He felt the little body shudder with a sob and he turned around, pulling Denzel to his chest.

“Denzel?” he asked, his head still fuzzy and aching and his throat sore. “Hey,” he said, pulling back to run his fingers through Denzel's hair. “It'll be okay. We're going to get out of here soon.”

Denzel just shook his head and burrowed further into Sora's chest. His sobs were loud in the quiet of the house. The door opened and it took only a second for Tifa to curl up onto the bed to surround the boy in hugs and soothing murmurs. Sora nuzzled the side of Denzel's head and then let go, rolling over slowly to exit the other side of the bed, leaving the cries and murmurs behind him as he padded quietly into the other room.

“We can't stay here anymore,” he said to the air as Cloud's eyes slitted open from where he was sleeping on the floor next to the door. Cloud propped himself up on his elbow and then decided to fully rise into a sitting position against the wall.

Cloud nodded his head once. “Fair assessment. Where else would we go?”

Sora glanced around the room, taking in the broken drawers, the dirty floors, the boarded windows, and the broken bit of technology. The dresser from the bedroom was leaning against the front door. He closed his eyes and reached out, but there was nothing. His shoulders slumped and he sighed. “There isn't going to be anymore food and we can't stay here any longer. Even if we got a call out, that doesn't help our situation here any. We're doing nothing but waiting to die. There has to be something somewhere, someplace we haven't looked. Whatever's happened, wherever the heartless is hiding, we have to find what's going on and we need to do it within the next day or so.”

“Have you felt anything since?” Cloud asked as he got up and moved to the kitchen. Sora stepped aside as he passed, and nearly reached for the warmth that accompanied another body. He pulled his hand back.

“Nothing. But you felt it too!” he hissed in a whisper.

“I felt something,” Cloud accepted. “Are you rested?”

Sora grimaced. “As well as I'll be.”

“Tifa,” Cloud called out as he began pulling out their food into a pile on the edge of the counter. He looked over at Sora. “The packs,” he said. Tifa came out, arm wrapped securely around Denzel who was holding onto her waist. “We're leaving.” Her expression didn't change as she nodded her head. “Get Denzel ready to go.” She turned back to the room, pulling Denzel with him.

Together Sora and Cloud packed the few possessions and food they had, and were ready when Tifa reemerged with Denzel, clothed for the cold and ready to defend or fight. She handed Sora his shoes and accepted her gloves from Cloud. “In back?” she asked.

Cloud gave a confirmation, and Tifa gently pushed Denzel over to Sora. “Sora, in the middle. If anything happens, take Denzel and run. Tifa and I will meet you by the cafe if we are separated. We're going to the starport, start where it began. From there we will decide where to go.” Orders given, things gathered, and the dresser pushed out of the way of the front door, they made their way out, Cloud watching their front and Tifa at their back.

“Tsuri!” Denzel called out as the cat burst past them.

“It's okay,” Sora said, holding him firmly. “He'll find his way back.”

They made it to the cafe with no interruptions, but Cloud was studying the darkness before them. “Sora, stay in the cafe with Denzel. Keep to the wall, and yell out if you see anything. We're going to scout ahead. We can't take any chances between here and the starport.” He frowned at Denzel who was clinging to Sora tightly and shaking. “Tifa, let's go.”

“Mosey,” she said with a forced cheer. “Let's mosey.” He gave her a look and she motioned for him to move forward.

Sora took Denzel underneath the shelter of the cafe. The tarps had been released when the cold had first set in, but the one facing the courtyard had at sometime been pulled down. He stepped carefully over the broken chairs and turned over tables and took residence by the wall near the kitchens, pulling Denzel down to sit next to him. He watched as Tifa and Cloud disappeared from sight and waited. He hated waiting. Once upon a time he had loved it, loved watching people go about their business, chatting with whoever was near, and enjoying the breeze that ruffled his hair and breathed along his skin. But now he was scared. Scared and alone and waiting, and hoped that he wasn't waiting to die.

He let out a heavy breath and then he felt it. Like his head was breaking, a sharp drill going through his mind and he cried out, vaulting forward and clutching at his head.

“So-ra?” came a voice from beside him. Hands pushed at his and he let go. Then they gripped him, around his temples, and eyes were just before his face, and he screamed, pushing Denzel from him. Denzel fell backwards, landing on his elbow with a grunt. He got back up. “Sooo-ra?”

Sora stumbled up and back, falling over again as he pushed away out into the courtyard. “Stay away from me,” he screamed. He could feel it inside of him. That blackness, pushing at his mouth, suffocating him. He couldn't see beyond the pain in his head, the pain suddenly piercing his heart, the eyes that looked at him in innocent confusion. Cruel. Cruel eyes, cruel hesitant smile. Hands that slowly reached for him again. And then Denzel came at him with a cry. “Noooo,” he cried as the hands pushed at his head again, fingers digging into his cheeks, and he screamed, hands flying forward in front of him. “What have you done? What have you done?” He felt a heavy light in his hand, felt the familiar metal that sang to him with a burst of luminescence.

Denzel hit a table with a force that bounced him up and over it, it falling onto its side with a crack. It was silent, and still, and the little body did not rise again. And Sora gasped as he fought for every breath he took as he tripped his way to the boy. “Denzel,” he said. The keyblade disappeared and he dropped to his knees beside him. “Denzel,” he said again, high pitched and abrasive. “Denzel.” He shook him, and then shook him harder. But Denzel didn't move and his chest didn't rise and fall with a breath. “Nononononono.”

He could hear Cloud calling out for him from a distance. His arms reached out and snatched Denzel to him, crying out. “Denzel.”

“Sora!” Sora's head shot up and he stared at Cloud who was looking around them, sword out to face an enemy he didn't know wasn't there, Tifa behind him, rushing towards them. He hugged Denzel's body to him and screamed, a terrible horrible scream that shook the foundations of the world and left.

“SORA!” Cloud's hand burst into the shattered light that burned where it pressed, but there was no one there. He fell to his knees, staring at the spot the two had been in, incomprehension freezing him as Tifa reached him and fell down beside him. The world rippled, he could hear glass crashing down from the surrounding building and a crack like lightning. He couldn't breath and the cold pressed in on him until suddenly it didn't.

“Sora Sora Denzel. What happened, Cloud,” she sobbed out, gripping at his shoulder, keeping herself from falling all the way to the ground.

It was silent. The world was silent again, and then he heard a beep.

“I've got something! LEON! LEOOOON! Hello? Hello Hello Hello? Cloud? Tifa? Sora? Somebody?” Such a tiny voice, familiar. Frantic. Yuffie.

Tifa fumbled with the communicator, and she pressed it to her lips, sobbing out a scratched “Yuffie.”

“Cloud? Tifa?”

“Hey! Ouch Leon!”

“Tifa, what's going on? We're on our way.”

She could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, sobs wracking her body as Cloud kneeled motionless beside her, staring up at the stars.

* * *

 

The hair was dancing in the flames, strands entwining, disappearing, and he couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. His fingers reached out, but before they could delve into the depths of that red, another hand was pulling his away, pressing something into it. He curled his fingers around it as the hand closed around his fist and brought it up between their bodies. Another hand pressed against his neck, urging him forward, those lips meeting his for what he knew would be the last time.

The flames were all around them now, and he could just see out of the corners of his eyes figures within the flames, moving with the breeze that was brought about by – what? All forgotten with the eyes that delved into his, and he was drowning because the pain in his arms where the flames licked at his skin and the edges of the unknown item in his fist pierced through and there was a thick wetness dripping down his wrist, a mockery of the tears dripping down his cheeks, but that was nothing, _nothing_ , compared to the pounding in his head. And even that paled against the pain in his heart. One last smirk, one last kiss, one last word-

What was it? Riku opened his eyes, the tears already soaking the pillow beneath him. He wouldn't say his name. He wouldn't say it. A word. What was it?

He laid in bed, taking in the silence around him. He could hear nothing beyond his door. There was no food cooking or Yuffie banging around downstairs or children clamoring around the front door. He wondered what time it was. It was still dark. He threw off the covers on an impulse and got out of bed.

The other doors in the hallways were closed and he wandered down the stairs and to the living room that had been strangely converted into the team's communication room. There wasn't much room in there, but Riku didn't feel claustrophobic as he made his way past the controls to the computers, around the table and chairs, and to the couch that had been pushed to the back, out of the way. He sunk into the cushions, head resting against the back, and sat there.

They were waiting. Everyone was always waiting, and Riku felt like they were all waiting for nothing. So many people in the universe, so many worlds and talents and skills and magic, and in the end everyone was still useless. Everyone was replaceable. A word whispered like a breath leaving the body- what was it?

He heard a noise and looked up. Leon was standing in the door. They stared each other down.

“Do you dream?” Leon asked.

“Everyone dreams,” Riku said, brushing Leon's question aside as he looked towards the window. Still so very dark.

Leon stepped further into the room, his gaze intent. “Why would Master Yen Sid be interested in yours?”

Riku turned back to him, a twist to the corner of his lips. A snarl or a smirk, he didn't know and he was beyond caring. He didn't say anything, but met Leon's gaze with an unblinking stare. Waiting. He was getting so very good at waiting.

It was Leon who wavered first, looked away, breaking the gaze. He had what Riku did not: something to lose. Although it was useless, Riku would wait. Leon however had been fighting a battle since the team had not returned at the designated time. Leon left the room, as silent as when he had first appeared. Riku heard the door open and close, and saw Leon's form pass by the window outside.

He had come to Radiant Garden to be met with yet another series of faces, people he couldn't stand. Yuffie with her incessant chatter and Aerith trying to mother him in blankets and food and smiles. Cid who always smelled of grease and Leon who stared at him as though he knew the worlds encased in Riku's mind.

Riku resettled himself and closed his eyes. This day would pass like all the rest. He didn't know when he dozed off, but when he woke, it was to little feet pounding through the hall before he saw a gaggle of little people run past the doorway in a fight to be the first in the kitchen where Aerith was waiting. “One at a time,” he heard her laugh. He watched as Leon walked by after them and into the kitchen. He watched as the first child was ushered in while the others peered around each other and pushed excitedly. The rest followed single file after eagerly.

Over the children's bouncing heads, his eyes met Aerith's. He turned his head and got up, walking out of the house. As he passed by the courtyard outside, the birds flew up, disturbed from their hunt for food, into the blue skies above. Riku paused to stare after them. He had long forgotten how to smile.

And then he felt it. Like a rubber band being snapped back into place.

“LEON!” he heard Yuffie scream and he knew. The wait was over.

* * *

 

_He had a the end once. He can’t remember, but he knew that once upon a time he had held his the end close to him like it was something precious. For a moment there was nothing and his mind had stopped and for once,_ _**for once** _ _he hadn’t been thinking, analyzing, scrutinizing in a constant search for truths that didn’t exist._

_Somehow, someway, some_ _**when** _ _he was here again. How much time had passed since he had started wandering the halls of fire and ice, of eyes that never blinked and wails that never ceased that followed him from corner to corner of a world he couldn’t escape from? How much time had passed since that last memory of flames burning through his skin as shards of metal embedded themselves in his chest accompanied by that laugh and eyes that didn't know how to cry?_

_He_ _**was** _ _again. The aching in his chest attested to a heart that never stopped beating and he wished that it would just shut up. A painful throbbing throughout him, a constant reminder that what he had thought he wanted was nothing more than an acknowledgment of what true hell was. It was knowing that there was no way out, no escape from a mundane life where nothing ever happened and time blurred together into what was forever._

_He stood silent in the shadows. Around him the flames danced along the walls, grotesquely playful like the too wide smile set in high cheekbones that he hated. They danced into every crevice, every hole, every nook, but here there were always places of shadow. Places for those to hide their faces, hide their shame, hide their humanity by refusing the cries of the desolate. Pretend that you don’t exist, because if you don’t exist then nothing else around you does either, and you could ignore that constant wailing as though it was noise in a nightmare. Your very existence is just a fantastical tragedy in another person’s dream. A character in a story that never has to worry about what happens after the end._

_He wondered how the hell he got here._

_He wonders if he is going crazy._

**End of chapter two**

 

* * *

 

Notes:

_A big big shout out to my friend who has dealt with me with the utmost patience and support. He encouraged me to keep going even though it's been awhile. He's answered my phone calls and let me in at insane-o-clock to freak out and in the times of joy._

“ _I've got a sentence for you! I've got a sentence!”_

“ _I'm sleeping.”_

“ _I'm coming over! Wake up!”_

_He's the best beta I could have ever hoped for and the best support I don't deserve but am entirely grateful for._

_Thank you_


	3. Chapter 3

These characters are not mine, but I thank Square Enix and everyone who created such a great story as Kingdom Hearts, the characters, and the worlds. They have made my life brighter.

 

Behind the Joker's Grin

Part One: A Series of Faces

Chapter 3

 

“Perimeter clear,” came Tifa's voice over the communicator. Leon didn't even spare it a glance as he continued to take in the story of events of one of the survivors as Aerith patched up the wound on his shoulder. A wound, Leon noted, the man was reluctant to give an explanation for. But he could guess from the accompanying scratches over his face and the bloody mark a nail had gouged nearly into his eye. Bless Aerith her patience and fortitude to treat everyone no matter the person.

The man was shaken bad and his story was all over the place. He had been sharing a house with his brother and they had boarded themselves inside, but then no. They had gone out for food. But then only he had gone out for food. Was there anyone else staying with them? No, but Leon knew those scratches for a woman's. Gaia, he hoped he wasn't going to find yet another woman's body in one of the alleyways they had yet to search. Too many bodies. Too many people still missing.

“Keep this clean,” Aerith said kindly, patting his arm while effectively cutting off his rambling diatribe that hadn't really answered anything and didn't seem to be going anywhere. She rose to clean off her hands and clear away the bloody towels and water before the next person. He reached out to give her arm a squeeze in gratitude, but Leon got there first, stepping neatly between the two of them.

“There's food and water past the fountain,” he said and stood before Aerith until the man left. He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms again. They hadn't been prepared for what they had found on the world, having left immediately after establishing communication with Tifa and Cloud. The surrounding worlds though had stepped up and had arrived on world before even they had. It seemed everyone in the universe had been keeping their eye on the situation, and there had been a constant stream of medical and food supplies and water.

Nobody had had the time to figure out what had happened or to search for answers. The sheer amount of people that needed attention and shelter, the people who wanted off the world as soon as possible to leave behind the nightmares this one had left, tied up all the volunteers who had come to help. There just wasn't enough room for a world's worth of people, though Leon would take as many as he could back to Radiant Garden. He understood. Well, understood to a point. The man who had just left could rot on this world for all he cared.

After they had arrived, with help from the other volunteers, they had consolidated the people into a central area, turning the buildings around them into temporary shelters, and set a perimeter. Something had happened on this world, though no one knew what and it seemed every story he had heard so far was disoriented and confused. No one went out after sunset, and only the volunteers were allowed out of the buildings but within the perimeter once full dark had settled.

Night was an event in itself, although one he didn't understand. Cloud and Tifa both would stop at the oddest times to look up at the sky. He knew their story, that the stars themselves had disappeared, but they had only had a brief moment to speak before they were all overwhelmed with the running of the refugee camp. How weird to see nothing, he mused. It seemed like both would pause to look up as if straining the neck backwards was the best way to orientate themselves before moving onward. Leon would've thought that the gesture was one of caution, a check to see if it was all starting over again (but what would be starting over?), except that the townspeople had done it too before the shelters had been ready for them. He took it as more of a comforting gesture now than anything. _He_ had found it comforting after he had discovered that he was doing the same thing himself several times a night.

He noticed Cloud out of the corner of his eye standing before what had once been a cafe. He had walked under the roof of it and was looking at the ground. Aerith looked over and then continued to roll up the bandages she had remaining from the day's batch.

“We're done for the day, so I'm going to finish cleaning here. Call me if you need anything.”

He nodded before she had finished speaking and moved off to join Cloud. Cloud had crouched down to run his fingers over the broken splinters of wood that used to be a chair. “Have you found a woman with dark brown hair and eyes? Around my height, who maybe reminds you of Yuffie?” he asked softly as Leon stopped a few steps away from him.

Leon gave a negative and Cloud rose back up, turning around to face him. His eyes froze before they reached Leon and he stared at a spot past Leon's shoulder. Leon twisted to see but there was nothing there and he turned back to Cloud. His head tilted a little to the side and Cloud focused back on him, rubbing at the bandage Aerith had wrapped around his arm.

“Is Aerith done for the night?” Cloud asked, moving some of the broken wood around with his foot as he cast his eyes over the floor. He could see it as it once had been. Little chairs scattered around little tables with a cheerful woman be-bopping her way through and Sora sitting across from him as they tallied together the inventory they had gathered that would meet them at their ship.

“Yes, later than usual,” Leon said, looking around though they had been up and down the cafe and all the other buildings in the area and just beyond. Usually she was already asleep, having to wake up as early as she did, but there had been a fresh influx of people from one of the apartment complexes four miles from their camp.

“And Riku?” Cloud asked, bending down and righting a table that miraculously managed to stay upright once he let go of it.

Leon tilted his head out to get a better look at the sky that had faded from a fiery red to a deeper tone that would soon fade into night. “Should be up soon.” They were on an overlapping shift schedule, two of them always awake and partnered with the other volunteers for safety and necessity.

“Tifa will be back,” Cloud murmured. He squatted down, leaning his weight back on his heels as he stared up at Leon. “We should go over what we know.”

Leon took out his communicator and sent off a quick text to the others to meet by the fountain. This was perhaps the first time since that first night they had all been awake at the same time. He got a quick confirmation from Tifa via “Copy” and a wave from Aerith as she came and joined them. There was nothing from Riku, but the door to the shelter just beyond the fountain opened and he stepped out, looking around as he came to sit on the edge of the fountain. He saw them, Leon knew he had, but he made no move to join them and seemed content to wait.

Less than ten minutes later, Cloud, Leon, and Aerith moved away from the cafe to join Tifa and Riku at the fountain. Cloud looked over at Tifa, but she shook her head no. “Clear,” she said. He nodded and sat on the ground next to Tifa's legs as she sat on the fountain wall close to Riku.

Leon wasn't quite sure what to ask with what he already knew, and really didn't know at all. It was Riku who broke the silence, surprising Leon when he asked, “How was the seal broken?”

Cloud was surprised by the question as well, but the only indication was the way he turned to look at Riku instead of his usual stare ahead. “It wasn't,” he said.

“It's broken,” Riku informed him irritably. “Shattered actually. It explains the heartless you found.”

Cloud frowned back at him. “We never found the heartless. Sora was convinced the seal was still in place and he would have told us if something had happened to it.”

Riku shook his head. “That's impossible. Nothing would have been able to get on the world if the seal was intact.”

“Nothing could get on the world,” Cloud said. “Nothing could get off it either.”

“Wait,” Leon said, holding up his hand. “Step back. We know about the heartless. Yuffie took that call before we lost communication.”

“It wouldn't have been a heartless,” Riku said adamantly. “Not if the seal was intact.”

Leon glanced over at Tifa. “But Sora sensed the heartless?” he asked her.

“We _both_ felt it,” Cloud said, frowning now at Leon.

“There was nothing here when we arrived,” Riku said, and Leon had to give him that one. “I would have sensed it, or Aerith would have. There was nothing here.”

“But we can't deny the state of the world and its people when we got here,” Aerith cut in.

“An outside attack? Maybe off world?” Leon asked.

“I felt it too,” Cloud said, annoyed enough now to scowl down at the cobblestones. “There was something on the world with us. It had a presence.”

“Shortly after Cloud and Sora first felt it, we started having problems with outside communications,” Tifa interjected. “Then the starport was set on fire. By the time we had gotten the fire put out, communication off planet had been completely cut off. We had it on planet for a few more days, but that went out too.” She ran her hand through her hair before casting a look up at the sky. Leon found himself catching a glimpse of the stars before he realized it and looked back down at the group. “No one could leave,” she said softly.

“Sora left,” Riku stated.

“We don't know _how_ ,” Cloud said.

“What if-” Riku started, and then paused. Leon turned his focus on him and he met Leon's gaze. “What if Sora broke the seal on the world?”

“He wouldn't do that,” Cloud said harshly, turning to face Riku completely. Tifa's hand on his arm steadied him.

“Not on purpose,” Riku responded disdainfully and Cloud's jaw tightened at the tone and implication. “As a side effect to his leaving.”

“What does the seal have to do with his leaving?” Leon asked him, taking control of the conversation when it looked like Cloud was about ready to beat the brat.

Riku sat back further, looking towards the roofs of the buildings as he thought through the possibility. “The seal wasn't unlocked or opened; it was shattered. The force he used to get off the world probably affected everything.” He looked back over at Tifa. “You mentioned the glass broke when he left?” She nodded. “It affected the world, and the things natural to the world such as gravity rebalanced itself, though there will be some repercussions. However,” and here he gave Cloud a look. “Things not natural to the world, like the seals, would not be able to repair themselves.”

“And also whatever it was attacking the world,” Leon finished for him. Sora had a power that Leon didn't fully understand, but was he really that powerful?

“The world was laid siege to,” Riku conceded. “Sora probably destroyed it too. How did it get onto the world with the seal intact?” he mumbled.

“The Nobodies could still travel worlds that were sealed,” Leon said.

“It wasn't a Nobody,” Cloud rejected.

“It wasn't a heartless either,” Riku said. Cloud turned his scowl on him.

“We're not going to know more about it until we can find Sora,” Leon said, effectively cutting off the fight he could see coming. He ignored Cloud's glare. “Something was here, the starport was set on fire, and the world was cut off. We know this. The stories we've been getting have confirmed it. What happened to Sora and the boy who was with you? We're missing something.”

Cloud gave a loud sigh and slumped forward, running his fingers over his knee and stopping to rest on his ankle. “We were going to the starport. Tifa and I went to scout ahead and they were attacked by something. We ran back as quickly as we could.”

He turned reflexively to Tifa who took it from there. “Sora was holding Denzel. He must've been injured. Before we could get to them, Sora screamed and then just disappeared. That's when the glass shattered and-” She shook her head. “I don't know. The world went weird for a second. It's hard to recall what happened because it was all so fast. That's when we got the call from Yuffie and the world reopened.”

“How did he leave?” Leon asked.

“In light,” Cloud said.

“Where your burns came from,” Aerith added. He nodded towards her.

“When I tried to grab him.”

“Was there anything here at that point?”

“Nothing,” Tifa said, kicking her feet out and crossing them at the ankles.

“You are sure of this?” Leon asked.

She nodded again.

“He could have destroyed it by then, but not before it hit Denzel. You are sure Denzel was the one injured?” Leon asked.

“It couldn't be anything else,” Tifa said.

“We've gone through all of this already,” Riku said irritably, crossing his arms. Leon gave him a look and made to push forward, but Riku interrupted him. “We need to find Sora before we'll know if-” he met Cloud's eyes steadily as the fighter glared at him. “If they were attacked and what happened before he left.” He got up. “My shift is starting.” He turned and walked out of the group, heading for the supply building to get something to eat before he started working.

Cloud continued to glare at him as he left, but then turned to face Leon. “There was something here and something happened.”

“He's right though. We can't do anything without Sora but help the people recover here,” Leon gave up. “We've contacted King Mickey and they're taking over a search party for Sora. We'll know immediately once he's found.” He held out his hand and helped Aerith up. “You need to get to bed.”

She smiled softly at him and bid them goodnight. Tifa had another few hours before she would be able to go to bed herself and leaned back to lay on the wall of the fountain, staring up at the sky with her arms folded behind her head. “We'll find them,” she said distantly, falling into the thoughts taking up her mind.

Cloud pushed himself up onto his feet and walked off, irritated with the unease that had never left since the stars had first started blinking out one by one until they had been left with nothing but a black sky. Leon left Tifa to her thoughts and followed Cloud, walking slowly as Cloud pulled to a stop at the spot he had been staring at earlier.

“It was here?” Leon asked, though he had already known the answer to that in Cloud's somewhat confused recounting of events that first night.

“Yeah,” Cloud said softly, staring down at the ground by his feet. “Right here.” He looked back up and around him. “I almost had him and then he was gone.”

Leon wanted to give him some sort of comfort, but he had never been good at it and the words gathered in his mouth until he gave up saying anything. Something like “It's not your fault,” or “You didn't know.” He couldn't though and waited for Cloud to continue. He didn't.

Leon was just about to go inside to lay down himself, having seen Tifa begin an inside perimeter check a minute prior, when a little form darted from the recesses of the cafe with a yowl. He darted back in a ready stance for what was coming, but it was just a cat, desperately clawing its way up Cloud's legs before Cloud caught it in a grip and pulled it up to his chest.

“Tsurugi?” Cloud asked incredulously as he stared down at the bundle trying to bury itself in his arms.

“Tsurugi?” Leon asked, looking around as he tried to calm his pounding heart and come down from the adrenaline rush. He focused on the cat as it meowed plaintively.

“The cat,” Cloud informed him.

Leon stared. “The cat is named after-”

“Don't,” Cloud said shortly, giving Leon a look that told Leon that the better part of valor was sometimes in retreating. Cloud held out the cat to Leon. “Take it,” he said as Leon made no move to accept the offer.

Leon slowly reached out and let the cat sniff at his fingers before he curled his hands around the soft, warm body and brought it forward to hold it against his shoulder. He felt his lips twitch a little as Cloud gave him a murderous glare before turning around and stomping off. He watched him for a second and then moved towards where he slept, tilting his face to hide it in the fur that was still trembling a little. Cloud's back was to him, but it wouldn't do for him to catch any of the grin Leon felt rising up. A little bit of much needed brightness in this dark time. He let the grin show itself fully as he closed the door behind him and made his way to his pallet to sleep.

* * *

 

He was flying. Through worlds, through stars, through the inky blackness of space that wasn't black at all. So bright, so brilliant. So utterly breathtaking, and isn't this what they dreamed about when he and Riku used to look up at the sky on their own private little island? Wasn't this what they were searching for? Denzel's body was still warm in his arms and he held him to his chest like a teddy bear as he went on a journey children could only dream of.

Forget, his mind whispered to him. Forget and stay here, wasn't this what he wanted? It was beautiful. He flew along the paths created long before he had set on this journey through space by others who had long faded from time. They could be found still in the memories, fleeting and precious within the hearts they had touched. He could feel the warmth, the joy, the sadness and grief and pain. And together it painted a portrait of a life he couldn't grasp but that welcomed him warmly into its embrace and left a yearning ache through his soul.

Stay here. So beautiful. This is it. Forget everything and stay here. This, and Riku, what do you think? But Riku – he wasn't here. And his eyes snapped open wide. Riku wasn't here. And the despair came crashing down on him. _Riku wasn't here_. And whose fault was that? He could feel the coldness creeping back in, the memories he had forgotten of screams and pain and blood and so many lives lost for what? He shook away the images raging through his head and gathered Denzel as close as he could as he focused on the world he needed. He held his breath and allowed them to crash down into the world, and then pain.

He gasped. He caught himself sharply on one hand, his knees scraping even through the fabric of his pants as he stared down into the river he had landed by. It was murky and dark, twisting strands of a dimmed light streaking through the waters. He still had Denzel held to him with his other arm and tried to catch his breath as he leaned carefully back away from the Styx and angled his weight onto his feet. He felt the other in the room with him a moment before he heard him.

“Well, isn't this interesting?” The voice slipped over him, oily, oppressing. He shrugged if off with a toss of his head, eyes hard. Hades crowded over his shoulder, the blue fire of his hair glimmering against the rocks at the entrance to the caves. Sora hated that light. It felt...twisted. Just as much a part of the world, but repulsive all the same. The ground beneath his feet was damp and the air pressed down on him, corrupt and stale. He stood up and away from the river, the waters dark and swirling as his eyes swirled. He turned away from it and faced the god whose face nearly appeared to split in a grin as their eyes met.

“Stay out of my way, Hades,” he said, bending at the knees to gather Denzel's body in his arms and haul him up.

“Well now, what kind of host would I be if I did that?” Hades said, standing up straight and spreading his hands, lips opening in a mouth that seemed too big for his face. “Welcome to my home.”

Sora just leveled a glare at him. “Where's his soul?” he demanded, jostling the body in his arms.

“His soul? He has no soul,” Hades said, making as if to peer closer at the pair and clasping his hands together in an earnestness that set Sora near bristling.

“All the dead's souls come here,” Sora said with his eyes narrowed.

“Ah, yes,” Hades said, leaning back on his heels. “When they die here.”

“We came immediately.”

Hades shook his head and tsked. “Not enough. Poor boy's already departed.” Sora glanced over to the entrance. “You won't find him there. I know every soul that comes in. We've had a dreadfully boring time of it lately.”

“You can keep his body from rotting until I come back,” Sora said, stated really. Hades' eyebrows rose. How did he know that?

Hades tilted his head to the side as if in thought. “I could, but I don't really deal in soulless corpses.” He gave an exaggerated grimace to Sora. “No profit in it. No demand really.”

Sora turned back to him. “What do you want?”

“Now we're talking!” Hades said cheerfully, clapping his hands together excitedly. He snapped his fingers and dark flames rose up and then coalesced into a platform of sorts with a glass coffin set on top. Sora leveled another look at him. “What? It's where you put dead bodies. You haven't told me yet how he became dead.” He waved his hand in the air, pushing away the question. “Ah, we can discuss that later. Here's the deal: this will keep his body intact until you can retrieve it.”

“And?” Sora said, already walking towards the coffin and gently lowering Denzel into it. Deed done, he faced Hades, standing between the god and the coffin.

Hades grinned widely at him, nearly bursting with glee. “You see, our Underdrome is nearly open for business again. He will be your prize. You win the Hades Cup, and I'll release his body to you.” Sora tensed. “Ah, don't worry. He'll be your special prize. He'll still be here when you come back.”

Sora hesitated and then stepped away from it, turning to look one last time before he heard the snap of Hades' fingers and the coffin was sealed. “He'll be in the Underdrome when you're ready for him. And, oh dear,” Hades said. Sora followed Hades' gaze over to the caves.

He could just barely make out a form standing silently and still. He spread his fingers at his side, but waited to call the keyblade until it made a move or he felt it necessary.

“Someone would like to speak with you.” Hades was again just over Sora's shoulder. Sora felt a sneer come to his lips, but didn't move away and kept his eyes focused on the figure.

“Who is it?” he asked Hades.

“A nuisance,” Hades replied. “He's been running around, has those things wreaking havoc throughout the place.”

Sora nearly laughed. “I thought you knew everyone here,” he ribbed. He relaxed his hand as the figure still made no move. “Illusions,” he murmured. Something niggled at the back of his mind, familiar, like deja vu, but what was it?

He finally stepped away from Hades and walked towards the figure who turned but remained still, waiting for him. “I'll be back for Denzel's body,” he warned and followed the figure into the caves.

“We'll be here,” Hades said cheerfully, and disappeared in darkness with a playful wave of his fingers, taking the coffin and Denzel's body with him.

Sora hated the Underworld. It was damp and smelled bad, was gloomy and creepy and dark even with the weirdly glowing orbs that were some of the more restless souls that flitted about like bats. And liked to follow him around. Puppies, Sora thought. Think of them like puppies.

They continued walking down, turning corridors and passing by the gaping mouths of caverns and into an area of the Underworld he had never been in. It had gotten colder and colder the longer they walked, and Sora could now see his breath in the flickering light of the flames set along the walls. There weren't any souls here that Sora could see (although he did spot more of what he thought were illusions), and his army of puppy lights had long abandoned him, but on they went further down.

The figure stopped and suddenly turned towards him, its sightless eyes a little unnerving, like stars blinking one by one out of sight. It disappeared completely then, fading out like a dream. Sora realized he was standing at a door that was set further back into the wall. It looked more like a panel really, large and made out of some sort of metal and without any handle to it. He studied it for a long moment and when pushing at it failed to do anything, he set about looking around it, running his fingers along the edges as though it was possible to find a catch or button to press. Nothing. No clues or anything to help him. Maybe, but no. No keyblade for this. He could –

He held his hand up, palm out, just brushing the door with the tips of his fingers. Concentrating, he gathered energy into his palm and waited until it was bright and blinding, sparking out across the cold metal like lightning before pressing his hand fully against the door. It rippled out and then in and shattered.

He froze, eyes wide at the man sitting in the tiny room with his back against the wall. He dropped his hand and stepped just into the doorway of the room and steadied himself. “What number are you?” he asked him.

The man looked up at him, a smirk darting over his lips and disappearing. “There is no Organization anymore,” he said. “But if you must know, I was Number VI.”

“Zexion,” Sora murmured. “You have a heart.”

Zexion grimaced. “Yes.”

“I don't-” Number VI was here. Zexion. He had a heart. _He had a heart_. “Axel,” he breathed and Zexion's head tilted towards him in interest. “Axel,” he gasped out, rushing into the room and landing on his knees, gripping Zexion by the shoulders and nearly shaking him. “Is he with you?” His heart was near bursting, darkness creeping into the edges of his vision as he held onto his only lifeline of reality. “Is he with you?” He was near frantic in his hope, despair, fear.

Cold fingers wrapped around his wrist. “He's not here,” Zexion answered simply, no inflection to his voice.

“No,” Sora breathed out. His head dropped as the hopelessness came rushing back. The fingers around his wrist were cold, the air around him freezing, but he could feel the flames as if they were real against his skin. I'm sorry. “Why?”

Zexion paused, not sure of what Sora was asking. His reactions were interesting, but only vaguely because nothing really interested Zexion who no longer had a number and whose name didn't belong to him anymore. Couldn't go back to that wondering innocence that was Ienzo, but Zexion had never been his name either. But that meant that Axel wasn't real and neither was Number VIII. “I woke up here,” he finally settled on. “I don't know of the others.”

“How?” Sora choked out.

Zexion leaned forward, pushing against Sora's arms so that he could move away from the wall. Sora dropped his hands and sat back onto his heels, his hands and shoulders shaking with the force of his feeling. “I don't know.”

Sora didn't say anything more, just pressed his palms to his face and shook as he tried to reign in his reactions. Zexion left him to it for a few minutes and thought. He waited until Sora wasn't shaking as hard before presenting his proposal. “If you get me off this world, I will help you find him.”

Sora froze, and Zexion was surprised by the hard look Sora gave him from over the top of his fingers. “I don't trust you,” he hissed at him.

Zexion felt a spark of something he hadn't felt in a long long time. A time from before, a time several names ago when the the worlds were filled with things of curiosity and he had wanted to know it all. Ah, so this was interesting after all. “You _have_ learned,” Zexion said, a real smile on his face. Cynical, yes, but a smile all the same. “A contract then?”

Sora's eyes flashed at him. “A contract?” he asked, standing up slowly.

Zexion followed him up and stepped closer. “A contract,” he went into his explanation. “Is an unbreakable agreement between two parties. It will use our energies to create a binding between us. One that neither of us can break until all concessions have been completed.”

“And if they aren't?”

Zexion tilted his head. “No one who has broken a contract is alive to ask what happened to them.”

Sora leaned back and crossed his arms as he thought about it. “A contract,” he murmured. He gave a short nod as he steadied back to stand straight. “I'll do it.”

“It'll make a mark on your skin, so think carefully about where you want it,” Zexion said. Maybe Sora hadn't learned anything after all.

Sora looked instinctively down at himself. Oh. He rolled up his sleeve. “Here,” he said, holding out his arm. As Zexion reached out for his arm, a face flashed through his mind and Sora jerked his arm back. “Wait, no.”

Zexion dropped his hand with an irritated expression. “Your only requirement is to get me off this world. I would say I'm getting the short end of this. We don't even know if Axel is alive.”

Sora glared at him. “I don't need your help to find Axel. If he is alive, if he is anywhere in this universe, I will find him no matter how many stars or worlds or paths I have to travel. But I need your help finding someone else.” Sora paused to give Zexion a chance to say anything, but when he didn't, Sora pushed on. “You did a lot of research about people and hearts. He's a child. I need to find his heart.”

“Is he a Nobody?” Zexion asked.

Sora shook his head. “No. I have his body, but his heart is missing.”

Zexion froze for a moment in thought. A body without a heart was a heartless or a Nobody. But one that was kept? “Was it taken from him? Is he heartless?”

“No.”

He's not a heartless or a Nobody. His heart wasn't taken from him but he didn't have a heart. His body was kept- well, that's a strange way of putting it. Losing a heart always had an effect on that which it was taken from. “Where is his body?”

“Here,” Sora said. “In the Underworld to keep it from decaying.”

“He's dead,” Zexion said, surprised. Sora's silence was confirmation enough. “Our research was into the hearts of the living. We did not delve into people who had already died.”

“But with your research,” Sora shot back quickly, “you have a better chance of finding out what happened to his. You'll just have to delve a little deeper than what you did before.”

“Do you ever question why you know what you know?”

“I'm not concerned with that,” Sora said. “What I know is that you know how to research something. Even if we were starting from scratch, you would know what to look for and how to get the information you need.”

Zexion took a step back. “I'm not making a contract with you to bring back a boy's heart who's already dead.”

Sora shook his head, taking a step forward. “I'm not asking that. I want to know where his heart is. I can get it myself. All I need is for you to find it.”

All sorts of things were already going through Zexion's head. Formulas and diagrams and a breakdown of the human body. Information about hearts and worlds and the paths that were not meant to be tread. An image of a little boy staring into a mirror whose eyes had been without heart long before he had given the one in his chest away for the sake of science and a sick man's delusions. “I will find out where his heart has gone, but that's it.”

“That's all I need.” Sora held out his arm and Zexion grabbed the upper part near the shoulder.

“Grab my arm,” he said and Sora did so in the same place where Zexion gripped him. “You have to will it or nothing will happen,” he said and Sora nodded. “What is his name?”

“Denzel.”

Zexion's grip tightened. “I vow to find where Denzel's heart has gone.”

Sora's eyes were intent as they met Zexion's. “I vow,” Sora repeated, “to release you from the Underworld.”

Sora felt a searing pain rip through his upper arm and he could tell by the wince on Zexion's face that he had felt it too. Zexion tore his hand away and Sora let go of Zexion so that he could run his fingers over where it had felt like his skin was ripping apart. There was a mark there. Small, about the size of his thumb and looked like a tattoo of sorts in a white ink hardly visible to the eye.

He looked up and saw Zexion grimacing at his own arm. “Why is yours glowing?” Zexion shot him a dark look.

“It's the color of your energy. I should've known,” he snarled. “Do you have something I can wrap this with?”

“But it's glowing,” Sora said again.

“Yes, it's glowing. Do you have anything I can wrap this with?” Sora gave a negative shake of his head, still staring at the little beams of light coming from underneath Zexion's fingers. “Of course not,” Zexion grumbled and dropped his hand. He glared down at his arm and then back at Sora before stomping past him. “Let's go. I'll get something at the entrance.”

“You're going to ask Hades for a bandage?” Sora asked, not sure whether to be horrified or not, over the situation or the idea of having Hades know what had happened.

“No,” Zexion said. “That damn moogle is still there, isn't he?”

“I didn't notice,” Sora said, following Zexion out. They stepped out into the hallway.

“Of course he is,” Zexion grumbled as he swept down the corridor. “Damn things are always looking for a profit.”

* * *

 

Leon was the first to leave the ship, followed closely by Cloud and then by Riku. Aerith and Tifa were still on Traverse Town taking care of the situation on the ground, but Sora was an issue that could not wait. So with an admonition to pick them up as soon as possible, the group found themselves near the Colosseum. It was hot here like it always was, and the walls that rose around them blocked any refreshing breeze that might have been felt.

He had never liked this world with its arena made specifically for spectating violence with joyful abandon and the Underworld beneath their feet. Their childish games and ignorant definitions of what made a hero. Even the architecture was archaic, with none of the beautiful and useful engineering of Radiant Garden. What this world had were people of magic who paraded around calling themselves gods and elevating themselves to a higher platform than the people who toiled in the heat. They encouraged the violence that each of his companions had found themselves in the middle of on multiple occasions, trying to keep these people safe from harm as they ignorantly cheered the wounds of the opponents they faced. In his mind Zeus was really no better than Hades at the end of it all. Two sides of a spectrum that never should have been put into place. Of all the worlds to find Sora.

Leon stopped to look for the tell-tale sign of brown bouncing spikes, but Cloud was already moving forward to the figure standing in the shade of the Colosseum entrance walls. Sora had begun to move towards them, but froze at the sight of his oldest friend stepping off the ship. Emotions rolled through his eyes and his mouth was left open, his expression settling on shocked. He saw Sora's lips move briefly, like he was saying Riku's name.

“Sora!” Cloud called, rushing forward the rest of the way and catching Sora by the shoulders. “Sora,” he said again, worry infecting his tone as he tilted Sora's head to look in his eyes before checking him over for injuries. “Where's Denzel?” He looked around and noticed the other figure standing in the shadows behind Sora, but his question turned Sora's attention to him. Sora closed his eyes, a pained expression painting his features in a grimace.

“He's,” Sora tried and then stopped. “I can't,” he said, and Cloud had to lean closer to hear him.

Leon had been steadily, but swiftly, striding towards them when he caught Riku's expression and stopped. Riku's eyes were cold and narrow, his breath nearly stopped as he leveled a look Leon had never seen on his face at what should be his best friend. Leon narrowed his own eyes at the boy who sneered at him and moved his face to a more neutral, but still frigid, stance.

The figure behind Sora moved to a more standing position and Riku bolted forward, his keyblade out and leveled at the group. Sora jerked towards them and caught Riku's keyblade with his own, it coming to form with a beauty it had always held even in the darkest of places. He pushed Riku back and stood protectively in front of the boy Leon vaguely recognized. Leon had his own sword out and ready, having been in too many situations before where reaction was the only thing that had kept him alive.

“Riku, stop!” Sora cried out, his other hand reaching back and sweeping the boy behind him. “He's okay.”

Riku didn't lower his keyblade and Sora kept his out, ready to block any advancement that might be made. Cloud was standing ready beside Sora, facing them, and Leon had a brief moment of irony and a sense of weirdness to the entire thing. Cloud and Sora against him and Riku. He lowered his sword, but kept it out, able to bring it back up at any movement from anyone. He got the brief impression of confusion over who he was supposed to protecting, but pushed it aside for the safer path of stopping anyone from assaulting anyone else.

“I didn't realize you had joined the Organization,” Riku snarled.

“There's is no Organization anymore,” the guy said, throwing his head to shift his pale locks away from his face. He was steady and calm, but his eyes were unyielding and he had his hand pressed over the pages of an open book he hadn't been holding before.

“Riku, he's with me,” Sora pleaded, letting his hand lower and then letting his keyblade disappear with a brief burst of light. He moved forward, but Cloud grabbed him by the wrist and hauled him back to his side, his own sword still out and up, perceiving Riku as still a threat.

“And what are you going by now?” Riku directed at Zexion. _What are you calling yourself now?_ Sora went pale, his lips opened and closed, and Leon thought that there was something very very wrong. Sora stared at them horrified, and Leon knew that if Riku attacked now, Sora would not respond. He tightened his grip on his sword and saw Cloud shift his feet to put himself more firmly between the two boys.

“No, Riku,” Sora tried again desperately.

“Ienzo,” Zexion replied calmly, making no motion to move or stand down anytime soon.

“Zexion,” Riku said, the name suddenly coming to him. Zexion nodded forward, accepting the name like they were just two people having a conversation on a bright and sunny afternoon. “You make interesting friends,” Riku told Sora, willing his keyblade to disappear. But he kept his hand stiff, ready to call it forth in a moment's notice.

Leon felt the tenseness in his shoulders dissipate some and lowered his sword as he watched Cloud do the same. Cloud led the group over to them and they stood in a loose circle still reminiscent of the line drawn just a moment before.

Sora continued on, reaching out for Riku's arm, smile hesitant over the rush of before as his fingers brushed Riku's sleeve. “Riku, it's so good to see-”

“Don't touch me,” Riku snarled, throwing off Sora's questing hand. He backed up a step, his other hand running over his arm as though he were trying to brush off the fingers no longer near him.

Sora stopped, staring at him in confusion. “Riku, I-” He leaned forward as though to try again and then moved a step back. “What?” He looked around at the faces studying the two of them and turned back to Riku. “I don't-” He stopped again and Leon could see the moment when the realization came to Sora of the situation he found himself in. He looked lost as he met Riku's eyes. “I'm sorry,” he said, hands falling to his side. Cloud was frowning at the two of them and he moved closer to Sora's side, able to feel the trembling that wasn't physically apparent coursing through Sora's body in fine tremors.

“Making your way through the Organization?” Riku asked with a sneer. Leon met Cloud's eyes and shook his head, hoping that was enough. Just because it wasn't a physical attack didn't mean that Cloud wouldn't respond in a physical manner to any sort of attack made on Sora.

“It's not like that and you know it,” Sora said adamantly. He crossed his arms in front of him as he stared down Riku, neither willing to bend, a sick depiction of the stubborn fights they had had as children. But this wasn't a child's fight.

“I don't. Not really,” Riku responded flippantly. They fell silent, Riku leaning back as Sora stood still and straight, mouth set in a thin line.

“I made my choice, Riku,” Sora finally said, breaking the silence.

“Axel?” Riku snarled.

“Don’t say that name!” Sora screamed at him, completely losing it. His eyes were wide, his chest heaving, the air being pulled from his lungs as though he was about to choke. Get out, get out, get out.

“Sora,” Cloud said firmly, gripping his shoulder. Sora shrugged him off.

“I made my choice, but you - you made a choice too.” He made to move past them, back straight, shoulders stiff, eyes staring ahead, fixed on the ship and away from them all. “Live with it,” he hissed at Riku as he passed.

Their shoulders brushed and Riku felt a part of him jump. It wanted to reach out and grab hold, to consume, devour, and own. He was left with Leon’s silence, Cloud’s guarded expression, and Zexion’s curiosity. A series of faces. A series of faces that blurred together with all their experiences and relations and memories into a single one that he had vowed to hate.

He sneered at them and boarded the ship, disappearing into the corridor beyond.

* * *

 

_He drifted. Where once he had looked up into a black sky, it was so full of stars he couldn't sleep like he wanted to. Too bright. But hadn't he once wanted to see them again? Why had he wanted this? He couldn't remember. Too bright and he couldn't think. But there were things he missed._

_He couldn't remember who he was or where he was or what he was. Surely there was something, because he remembered being more restricted than this, but it hadn't been a bad thing._

_The stars were too bright. But he had once missed them, he was sure of this. But not like this. He held an object in his hands, cold as metal, but beautifully small and shaped like the shapes he had once missed. What was it?_

_You don't need to see them to know they're there._

_What was that? Oh, a memory. Did he have those?_

_But, this is yours now. It's your own star to make your very own wishes on._

_He just wanted to sleep. To close eyes that he no longer had and sleep. He had wanted stars and now he had his very own star because the ones in the sky had left._

_Have hope and make a wish._

_But now they were everywhere, too many wishes made and too much. But he had his very own star, small and dim and perfect for him as he curled around it and cried._

_I wish I may_

**End of chapter three**

**End of Part One**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read Behind the Joker's Grin and given it a chance. Thank you for all the kudos and comments. You are amazing!


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